FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

Five years ago, I vowed to love and cherish Mike Hanson in the good times, but also to love him with an unconditional love when the times got tough. And boy have they gotten tough.

Our life together has been transitory and we have always shifted and adjusted to new changes as they come our way. We like to think we make a pretty good team. We have welcomed two little humans into this world and fight against the odds for unity in our marriage and in raising our minions.

I love that man more than any single person on this planet. He is a safe place to land and my ultimate comfort. But there's a catch....The hard part about being so comfortable with another person is we not only trust them with the best parts of us, but they also get our worst. You know the words you mumble when your son wakes up for the millionth time and all you want to do is sleep. Or the meltdown over the fact that dinner didn't go the way as planned, and somehow that's everyones fault but your own. Or the look you give when the laundry is piled beside the laundry bin instead of in it  (I mean come on people, you're already standing in front of it....if you shoot you'll score!) Or when he swears he can't find something and it takes you a whopping 20 seconds to find the thing that has gone MIA and is "gone forever." Or when you claim you don't care where you eat and he rolls up to the one place that sounds less edible than dog poop. It's the simple things, when mixed with the right circumstances, that make our heads spin if you know what I'm sayin. And with all the pressure that this world puts on us as husbands, wives, hands on dads, pinterest perfect mamas, neighbors, leaders, co-workers and the thousand other hats that we wear, it's no surprise that we often feel defeated and take it out on the person who we trust the most....mine being Mr. Mike Hanson (You the real MVP babe).

But, if those clothes next to the hamper disappeared and I was no longer sent on hunts to find things "hidden in plain view," then a little part of me would be missing. Sure, there are little annoyances mixed in our days, but that's what happens when two brains that are wired completely differently (thanks for that one, God) become roomies, BFFs, co-parents and work on becoming one.

But here's what I've learned about the unity of marriage and what becoming one looks like in our little love story. I don't believe it was a hiccup or an accident when God hand-crafted men and women differently to fit as two puzzle pieces! Uniquely positioned to compliment each other (and in a way complete each other) when positioned correctly. Now, hear me when I say that being complete in our husbands does not mean finding our worth solely in their applause or looking to them to some how make us feel complete. Because if you've been at this for awhile, you know that aint going to happen. Once your puzzle pieces are in place (hand in hand so to speak), Jesus brings more pieces into the equation and completes a puzzle that is extravagant and detailed and is far bigger than what you two solely bring to the table.

Differences seem to become heavier over time. It seems the more times we talk about something the more it hurts when it pops up again. But here's the thing, if we accept and realize that God created us differently to compliment each other and not to curse eachother, I think we would have happier homes. Sometimes I know I'm guilty of trying so hard to change Mike's mind that all my energy goes to resentment and bitterness instead of using my energy for the gifts, skills, and personal convictions that God has put on my heart (believe it or not we don't all have the same convictions and the same cross to bear).

Here's the deal, if we as husbands and wives were so in tune to sharpening our God given skills and learning to CHEER for one another and not CHANGE one another, I believe our marriages would transform.

So to me, becoming one wasn't a one time transaction on September 1st, 2012. Instead, it is something that we have worked on every single day since the day we said I do. We make failed attempts daily to lay down our lives for each other, to sacrifice and to serve, and above all else, to cheer each other on and love in a way that not only feels like love to the giver, but also blesses the receiver. Sometimes this lesson is learned after you repeatedly get your significant other sturdy cups for every holiday....including a matching camo set.....and she gently hints that that's not her love language....but we won't go there ;)

On a more serious note, this thing they call marriage is the single most vulnerable thing you can possibly do. It's humbling. It's hard.  It hurts. It's beautiful. It's frustrating. But most importantly, it's A GIFT and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Thank God I'm yours.
https://youtu.be/gFccdvKehQI